reflections Saturday, January 1, 2011

As I look back at my last 25 years of life I no longer think "what if" rather I'm thinking "this is where I'm supposed to be".

My life may not be "perfect" in your eyes but i'll let you know to me it is.

In the last 3 years alone (2007-now) my life has changed a whole lot. I'm not even sure where to start..all the things that have happened since March 17th, 2007 have brought me where I am today in my life. Some of it overwhelming, some of it beyond heartbreaking, & of course scary, & exciting parts as well...

I've been asked by people "if you could change anything about your past what would it be?" well in all honesty I wouldn't change a thing. If I did then I wouldn't be where I am in my life or have the amazing people I do have in my life ♥

2007 :

March - started dating s.d

April - moved in with s.d

June - became engaged

July - became pregnant

October - broke up & moved back to Calgary

During that year (2007) many people whom I thought were my friends walked away...but there were a select few that stayed true (i'll get to those wonderful people later).

2008:

February - baby shower

March - McKayla was due

April- had McKayla 12days late (6lbs 10 3/4oz 19.5inches)

June - was serviced court papers about visitation.

June 08 - December 09: in & out of court.

2009:

November - received McKayla's dk (angelman syndrome)

                   McKayla started having seizures. Spent 1wk in hospital. Almost lost her 3 times.

December 18th 2009 @ 9:30am - court...s.d signed his rights..

2010:

April - met Mark (again) at a friends bday party. "fell" for him right on the spot..

           Started dating mark.

May- McKayla started P.A.C.E (school) every friday.

         McKayla started in-home therapy.

July -McKayla stood on her own by pulling up to the coffee table.

July-December - McKayla started to walk holding your hands, the coffee table, ect.

2011 has just started by 18hrs...& I'm excited about what is to come...I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for, including my Momma..the most amazing & beautiful daughter ever, & the most amazing boyfriend a girl could ask for.

I am a rich girl ♥ my life is perfect for me...

Strong Enough Sunday, November 18, 2007

It's funny how life works. When we ended, I thought my life did to. I loved you so much, and I still do. You're always going to hold a special place in my heart. You did and still do mean a lot to me. But when it comes down to it, I don't need you at all. I'll do just find without you. The times we had were good, some even life changing. I'll never forget them, ever! It's to bad I was the only one who wanted "us" to be again, but it just goes to show who was STRONG ENOUGH to take the BAD with the GOOD, and the GOOD with the BAD...


Dreamz
11-15-07

...She... Sunday, December 30, 2007

She’s just an ordinary female who calls herself down at times. She has split personality. She believes in love. She talks a lot. She can be very negative. She’s obsessed with her cell phone. Music calms her soul. She’s a believer. She used to take things for granted. She’s a pretty impatient person. She loves her attention. Respect is a biggie for her. She has a small family. Sometimes she feels so alone. Her hearts been broken. She has REGRETS. She has secrets. She’s a secret shopaholic. She has only a few true friends. She’s a soon to be mother to a beautiful baby girl. . She stresses about everything possible. She’s always been a bitch. She doesn't get along with other girls. She absolutely despises ex-girlfriends. She’s addicted to chocolate. Her favorite thing to do is be on the computer. She’s in love. She has self-esteem. & She wants to get married one day. I'm sure your well aware that she is ME

. 

To My Baby Girl Friday, January 11, 2008

Everyday there is so many things I want to say to you! With every movement I realize more and more just how amazing and beautiful you really are. I've had so many feelings and emotions these last 7 months that my mind is going to explode if I don’t get them out! Just sitting here thinking about how you make me feel brings tears to my eyes, I never knew I could feel so much for someone I haven’t even meet yet. You've changed me in so many ways that it's hard for me to believe but McKayla you bring out the best in me, you make me better! I feel like my life has a purpose and now I actually want to achieve my goals to make a better life for you. Everyone tells me I have changed over the last few months and it really is true, my life is set on you and you're the only thing that matters right now. It never occurred to me that something so small could make me feel like I was so important that I was on top of the world and that it’s a very powerful and amazing feeling!

McKayla, I want and hope to give you everything in life that you're little heart needs and desires. I am going to give you the best life possible and one thing is for sure you will never ever have a lack of love in you're life! There’s so many people waiting and dreaming about the day that they get to meet you and believe me their all amazing people, you're going to love them just as much as I do! I don’t exactly know how to put into words just how much you mean to me, I promise to tell you everyday just how much I love you! Never in my life did I picture myself with children and now I can't picture a day without you baby girl. I know that you're going to be a wonderful person. I can't wait to see you! I guess what I’m really trying to say is I love you!

Monday, March 3, 2008

So I've been thinking lately about my ex and how awkward the break up was and how it really didn't make since at all. Been thinking about the times in the past, and I've been realizing I’m actually not over him... I never will be.... I love him and probably always will. He had my heart and kind of still does. Part of me is kind of hoping he will come back to me and we can act like nothings ever happened but at the same time, I believe that this is for the better, and that all he is now is a memory and the one that got away. 

I still have his number in my phone. I still talk to some of his friends and they still seem to care. I still have the photo booth pictures we took in my wallet. I kind of think he lied about throwing out his. I just don’t get it. He treated me so good, and he said he loved me and I know he meant it, he showed he loved me every day.... yeah we fought a little and the day he broke up with me I was nervous and because something didn't feel right... guess I had a reason to be scared. We did break up.

I’m trying to be strong and trying not to think about him or anything to do with him so I can move on. Its just kind of hard, if it made since it would be easier…

The only thing worse then losing him 
is the fact I lost him
its like half of me wants to get over him
and the other half wants to be with him
I guess ill always have that place in my heart for him!

...Update...Monday, March 10, 2008

First off, thank you to my Mom, she's wonderful! I'd honestly be lost without you right now. I wish I could express how much help you've been to me these last 9 months.<3
Second off, Thank you Chris, you're a great friend. I'm so thankful to have you in my life. You mean a lot to me! We've had a lot of good times together, and I know there is more to come. Thanks for coming to pick Mom and me up this morning (1am) from the hospital, that was awesome of you!<3

So yeah I had to go into the hospital last night because Saturday and part of Sunday I was having what felt like period cramping and then it turned into contractions at about 2pm. I was in the hospital for 2 hours or so and they confirmed I was having contractions...as if I didn't know that! lol. They were 5 minutes apart pretty much the whole time, until they finally slowed off and then stopped completely. They did an internal and I'm not leaking anything out of the ordinary as they said and my cervix is still closed. However it is starting to soften. So now I'm on complete and total bed rest (their words not mine). I have a doctors appointment tomorrow (Tuesday) so I‘ll see what he says. I only have 16 days left before I am due... If I have 10 or more contractions in an hour, begin to leak or start spotting I'm to go into the hospital immediately. 

Yay! It’s so exciting, but so nerve racking at the same damn time… I’ll keep everyone updated the best that I can :)


Tuesday March 11th, 2008
Okay so the doctors went well, he said Im 2cm dilated, but my water hasn't broke yet so it's the waiting game. I've been having more contractions (braxton hicks), but they're not close enough together yet to go in. He said she could be here any time now...Wow, so exciting!!! heh. She's a healthy weight so far (5lbs 14oz) so there's nothing to worry about.
I'll update more later when I know more!

Tuesday March 18th, 2008
So once again the doctors today went well. He said everything is just fine. He told me not to travel to much (I can't leave the city) as she could be here any time. He said he was thinking Sunday would be my day..So that's only 4 days early, but yet so exciting!
I didn't think it was possible to be so excited about someone I don't even know yet! I love her so much already.

...:Randomness:...Wednesday, March 19, 2008

So, make her laugh a little and help her get through.
She used to cry and no one knew. 
Help her out and treat her right. 
It's been awhile since she's smiled so bright. 
Show her that not all guys lie, and be the one that keeps her eyes dry.
__________________________________________________________________

If you see me Smile..It's not because I forgot about You. It's because I got tired of Crying over You...If you see me living Again...It's not because I Moved on..It's because I hate the fact that...You can live Without me...

...:Thank You:...Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Thanks to everybody who’s been there for me.
It’s just the beginning and now we have to push to the very end.
It won't take long; just take it one step at a time.
I love you all, every single one of you that have made an effort. You know who you true friends are when you go through something like this, it may take a lot but I will get through it all. I promised myself, my life is about to change…

It’s life people. You learn to deal with it. You accept things that come your way regardless the weight to carry.I have dealt with so much in my life and still am.
But faith and courage is what gets me by each and every day. I believe that we all have purpose in this life to live. I don't want to be seen as the one left behind, I want to push on forward, life is so precious…Soon enough I’ll be holding a little miracle in my arms.

Believe Sunday, April 20, 2008

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.
Remember all things are possible for those who believe
.

..:Random:.. Thursday, May 15, 2008

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, stumble and fall because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Don't look back. Maybe you'll get more than you could have ever imagined. Who knows where life will take you. the road is long and in the end the journey is the destination…

..:Rant:.. Friday, May 30, 2008

You honestly were my biggest mistake. I realize now how shitty you actually treated me; and how much of an arrogant son of a bitch you were. Wow! Almost eight months later and I’m finally realizing that I could do so much better than you, sorry, I already have someone much better than you, I have my daughter and myself. I think maybe you feel the need to treat other people like shit, to make up for your lack of intelligence and self confidence. Either that or you think so highly of yourself that everyone else is below you. I think you should sit down and think for a second, about what a deadbeat you really are, and about what you are actually doing with your life. Because it seems to me, that you don’t amount to even half of what you think you do, and that you never will…

Monday, June 16, 2008

I’m Christy, and some days, I wish I was a dandelion. I’m an extremely pessimistic person. it happens. I’m a single momma, and damn proud to be. I love my daughter, more than anything in the universe. I don't believe in friendships, nobody should be that stupid. I’m definitely not the same Christy you think you use to know, but I’m totally better now than ever. These are the happiest days of my life.

I’m a mommy, to a beautiful girl named McKayla, born April 6th, 2008, 12:42am. She's my pride and joy, I love her with every piece of me.
She makes my life worth living, she's perfect, and we're perfect together, just me and McKayla against the world. 
I love being both mommy and daddy, it makes the bond so much stronger. I love watching her grow, and learn, everyday. She's so smart, and so strong, especially for her age. She makes every single day amazing. I just wish the growing up part would slow down!

♥♥♥♥McKayla Rae-Lynn Doyle♥♥♥♥ Thursday, June 26, 2008

McKayla
You came just at the right time, leaving me with so much joy and happiness.
You are my everything, my life, and my daughter for ever you will be.
I can't believe how you have changed my life from your first smile, your first breath to your little fingers and toes, it all has been so amazing I can't even describe,
and I can't wait for what is yet to come...I will forever love you. and help you have only the best in life my little sunshine 

♥♥♥♥Mommy loves you♥♥♥♥

...:Thank You:... Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thanks to everybody whose been there for me. Its just the beginning and now we have to push to the very end. It won't take long, just take it one step at a time..I love you all, every single one of you that have made an effort you know who you true friends are when you go through something like this it may take a lot but I will get through it all. I promised myself.
My life is about to change...

..:Baby Girl:.. Friday, July 4, 2008

McKayla, no words can express how much you mean to me. Every sleepless night that passes is hard, every hour of crying is also tough, but those moments in the morning when you smile up at me and coo are worth every single one of those nights and hours. I love to watch your personality grow day by day, it's the most amazing experience. I now understand what my mother meant when she said, "You'll always be precious to me." I carried you for nine months, my blood and my body creating your life. You took from me what you needed, and you are now, still, a part of me. Nothing will ever take that connection away from us. You are my life, my love, my whole word...

I would give everything and more to you. You are my reason. Never forget that.

So true!!! Monday, August 4, 2008

One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.

...:Never Go Back:...Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I would never go back.... I would not change my baby girl being in my arms or the fact I've done some fucked up things. I've made many mistakes but also many accomplishments. I'm proud of my life today I've gotten over some really fucking hard shit. It's made me stronger and I DON"T regret. My life then is by far a past memory and I have a clean fun amazing life ahead of me. I'm more of a kid now that I've had my baby girl. She makes me so happy and it's amazing to just play with her and see her smile. I'm looking forward to the future and sharing it with that special someone and my baby once I have more. I'm planning so much that always wanted to do but never did and that’s going to change. I'm going to make it happen, it's up to me. I'm not saying it's a slice of cake but it's a challenge and that’s what I love because in the end you get to look back at what you did in amazement... Anyways now that I've got everything almost together I can't wait to see what comes next...

To McKayla Tuesday, August 19, 2008

McKayla...Born April 6th, 2008 
Baby girl I love you so damn much. The day I had you changed who I was forever. I became a better person and love more now! You saved me baby girl in so many ways... I'm going to give you the best life I can and be the best mom I can. One thing you'll always know is you are loved by me and are my number one. You make me so happy when you smile or try to talk to me. You reach for me and it's an indescribable feeling. Baby girl you have given me so much to live for and do things I never thought I would actually do. I've taken on some of my biggest fears since you have been born and everyone says you are a miracle baby, which you ARE. You pulling through that night made me complete. I don't know what would have happened to me if you didn't pull through and you'll always know how glad I am that you did. Love you more than words can say xoxo

If I was gone tomorrow...Sunday, August 24, 2008

Black*Shadow says:
Well we all know she was a bitch with an attitude but I think that’s why we loved her so much, now I’ve bin around for many years and had the pleasure of watching her grow to be such a intrigued woman she has become, she would never really know how much we would miss her even though we didn’t always keep in touch but we somehow managed to stay friends for 10 years, and I would never forget the way she looked at me all those years ago when she woke from her coma; and smiled at me and I know I be thinking about her everyday..


A close friend wrote this about me after I asked him what he would write/say about me if i was gone tomorrow

.:Truth:. Thursday, October 2, 2008

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they're conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

...:Random:... Sunday, October 26, 2008

I'm Christy - and pretty much you'll never understand me. 
I'm more complicated than you'd think, and it took me a while to figure out who I am - think it's easy? Try me. Ask me anything- I'm a walking contradiction. I swear. 
Heh, anyway... 
About me… About me... About me... Well, I'm not intellectual, or very intelligent. Some like to assume this- why? I don't know. But they do. Hmm, maybe it's the big nose. That seems to make people think I'm full of the smarts. But NOPE. I AM, however, very understanding. It's something about myself that I'm incredibly proud of, along with my ability to (if given the chance) hold a conversation for more than two seconds. Unless I feel super nervous. Then, I'll either talk TOO much- and about stupid things- OR I won't talk enough and be super, hella awkward. Both are extremely embarrassing and I hate feeling like I wish I had a big giant "STOP" button on my face to press and keep me from talking. I like photography, and im buying a new camera, just for fun. I want to be smart. I want to be someone who gets the A, or the B, or... the B+. That would be nice. I also want to be the person who has more than one talent. But so far, I'm only beating that goal by one more. I have TWO talents. Those two are: being a wonderful Mommy to a beautiful baby girl, and being a great listener. 
I'm a hopeless romantic above all. I believe in true love, and I know it's lame and sappy and all that jazz, but honestly...I mean, what sounds more appealing than waking to pebbles on the window, then being romantically swept off your feet to a beach somewhere and having a moonlit picnic? Ok...maybe that's a little too far. But I love romance. I love it. I love the idea of having someone to hug and kiss, and...love, it's just a nice idea. Of course, we're all lonely sometimes, and then we're all told to focus on friends- but there are things that friends can't bring you. Like that feeling in your gut that makes you think your insides are going to explode with butterflies and incredible happiness- ever felt it? I have. And it's great. But... also sort of lonely if you can't EMBRACE that feeling. Friends, though, are a huge part of my life, and having the ones I have makes me incredibly proud. I am a strange person, and they like me anyway- which means a lot. I do realize that times change...but it gets hard sometimes when friends change so drastically in a short amount of time- so if I've ever brought it to your attention, or seem sad, then it's no biggie. I'll just deal with it, because that's another thing I realize- we all just have to deal with it. Back to the whole romance thing, I am incredibly taken. And yes, I'm very happy. Don't mind me, it's just how it is - Heh, no worries, it tickles more than anything (damn butterflies).

..:Mistakes & Learning:.. Thursday, November 13, 2008

Going through this has only made me stronger and its going to continue making me stronger. I love her so much!! She's my lifesaver. And even though I have made mistakes she's helping me learn from them.... 

I love you baby more than you will ever know. 

..:Randomness:..Sunday, November 23, 2008

There is only so many times you can allow someone to let you down before you can't handle the disappointment anymore. When things change people change and it doesn't mean you forget the past, it simply means you try to move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting the things that weren't meant to be. There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. You got to do what's right for you even if it hurts. I've come to realize that in the end, everyone turns out to be the person they swore they'd never become.. 
 


Dear Fucker: 
Why do you have to hurt her like this? What did she do to you? She didn't ask to be brought into this world like this, so why do you have to be so useless to her? I can do quite well on my own raising her without you. She'll do just fine. 
So do me a favor Fucker, make up your mind now boy, before it's to late and you really hurt her. She's young enough right now she'll never remember, but oh I will. I'll remember it all. And when she is old enough I will tell her about that night you broke my heart and all the awful things you said. I might have forgiven you for all of it, but I will never EVER forget them, ever. 
Do me a favor and just leave us already, it's not like you're doing this for you, it's more like you're doing this for your family. Hell, you don't even call to see how she's doing, you never have, ever, and that makes me sad :(. You come see her when "it's good for you" but not when your days are. You make plans weeks, even months ahead with your little screw buddy and her daughter, but you can't even make plans with your own daughter. Is it really that hard? Either man up or fuck off, it's that simple :) 

P.S. Make my wish come true, disappear :) 

Thank You & Have A Nice Day 

..:Secret:.. Monday, December 1, 2008

Everyday I look at myself and see someone different from whom I want to be. A lot of the time I do things I know aren't right to make others happy or just to live a little but I really don't know why I did it in the end. I'm an obsessive-compulsive person, and I lie sometimes, But what's funny is I hate lairs because I've been hurt by them so badly in the past. I really want to change who I am but I always find myself getting worse instead of getting better. My life took such a bad turn a short while ago that it made me an indefinite bitch; I don't like being that person. I hurt people I love and I don't want to, this is only a secret cause I've never told anyone, but I think anyone who's been my friend for a really long time already knows. 

..:Random:..Wednesday, December 3, 2008

By letting go of what I am, I become what I might be 
By releasing what I have, I shall find what I need. 
When I feel empty and destroyed, I am about to grow. 
By yielding, I shall endure.

..:Scars:..Friday, December 5, 2008

The pain is written on her gentle face. 
Sleepless nights show in the dark circles beneath her light blue eyes... 
Her once gorgeous smile is replaced with a permanent frown. 
There is always a distance in her eyes... 

..:Past:..Friday, December 5, 2008

She used to be a writer - she loved it. Words appeared in a steady flow in her head, sometimes so insistently that she felt dizzy until she wrote them down. She thought in stories and poetry - as if there was a silent person sitting in her mind that she had to explain herself to. She played herself short films in her head to send herself to sleep; she read new and exciting books in her dreams; she awoke with ideas on her tongue. But she found that she needed to look after herself, to an extent, for when the waves of weary depression found their way too deep inside they washed away any thought at all. 
She wasn't always writing, reading, thinking - words came to her when she was upset, sad, alone. They were her comfort blanket. Her parents and friends became redundant as she withdrew into her mind. She didn't notice, she had her thoughts, her pencils and paper. Her mother, who used to say that her daughter had such a way with words, worried about the change in her child. But she was perfectly content, writing about addiction, deprivation, loss. She'd pour all her stress and sadness onto the page and smile as her headache relieved.

..:Thoughts:..Thursday, December 25, 2008

Nothing ever prepared me for the overwhelming love I have for my daughter. When I first cuddled that beautiful, soft, warm, sweet smelling girl in my arms, I knew I had fallen in love for the rest of my life. I also knew that, forevermore, I would live knowing fear, knowing worry, and knowing that my heart could be broken ... 

..Thoughts:.. Sunday, January 18, 2009

What can I say that people don’t already know? I'm 23, I have a beautiful daughter…I work hard and I play hard. I'm stubborn, I'm a bitch, but I'll do anything in the world to help someone I love. I wear my heart on my sleeve and there are many people in this world who take advantage of it. I'm strong willed and don’t give up on anything very easy, even if I am wrong… 
I thought I was lost for a while. But I'm here today standing and fighting, still… 
that’s what I am... I'm a fighter... I fight for what I love I fight for what I believe in. This is me this is who I am, you can love me or hate me the choice is yours to make...I'm a tomboy at heart, the girly girl just aint me. I will argue until the other person gives up, just so I can say I win. I can find any song to find how I’m feeling. I can go from 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds when it comes to my mood lol. This is me what can I say? I have learned a lot in these coming years, I've learned patience is a great virtue and it is something to master, I have learned without family you have nothing, friends come and go but family will always help you stand tall. I've learned that when you love someone you are taking a risk, you risk giving them everything you are and gaining nothing in return. I've learned the meaning of unconditional love; I've learned true friendship. Mind you I still have my short comings for I am, learning as I go, Right now I find myself making peace with the past, that have hurt in me, letting the pain slip away into an understanding of why things fall where they do. I look to my daughter for strength for she is my strongest will, a testament to what life can hold. 
I have loved and I have lost... but it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all....Love is a battlefield and I show my scars proudly…. 

..:Random Usless Thoughts:.. Thursday, February 26, 2009

I’m wondering what the purpose in life is all about? Is it making mistakes and just forgetting all about them or is it trying to find out who you really are. I’ve made my mistakes, who hasn’t? Sometimes I feel as I’ll never amount to anything at all... Then again I think I’m just looking for the person I truly am...wondering if it'll ever happen and if I will be happy...hmm

...:Finally 16 Months & 8 Days Later:...Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dear _ _ _ _ _ _, 
you have always made me wonder what I ever seen in you, apparently it was something that I should have just avoided kind of like when we dated in high school and I thought you cheated on me...what was I thinking with you? You said you loved me and missed me and wanted to be with me but all of a sudden you change your mind and end it...in my books that doesn't make you any better than any of the others, I can't believe I actually told you I loved you, what a mistake that was. Now all I’m doing is sitting here feeling sorry for myself cause I feel like I can't love another person cause you were a fucking moron and played with my emotions! Fuck you buddy you ruined everything I hope I never see you again, but sadly I know I’ll see you again, I always have to now. If I do you're going to get what's meant for you...Karma is a bitch, stuff always comes back to bite you in the ass. Love is too overrated anyways so why should I show it at all, except to those who actually love me in return? They never left when the going got tough, it’s to bad that you did. 

Sincerely, 
The one who believed everything you said 

Dreams Saturday, March 7, 2009

Is it possible to dream of something so much that the dream itself is completely lost to the point of being a mear thought of the past? The dream was once something you held so close in your heart and mind. Then you just gave up because there was a wall(s) blocking the full dream. You just let the dream go so that's all it was...a dream that could never come true.

..:You Think:..Saturday, March 14, 2009

There is a lot of emotions built up inside this girl. And when she cries it floods the whole world. You think you know everything about her, But You don't. You haven't heard the half of it. She Never spoke a word. Things she would never say, Just to put it in your face, Because you can't help no matter what you think. It's out of your hands, And it went down the sink. She thought she could Handle everything at once, She thought she was strong. But it turns out she was totally wrong. We all make Mistakes. Only some are forgive, But in her heart She wonders if there is a true heaven. Where everyone Is perfect and nothing goes wrong. Because in this world Nothing is perfect. Nothing is ever strong...

..:The Love Of My Life:..Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The first moment I looked in to you eyes and help you in my arms 
I broke down. It was the greatest feeling in the world and I didn't believe 
I deserved any of it. Your first smile, first giggle, first roll sweetie I 
was there for it all and I promise you I will never leave you! You are 
my princess, my world, my everything. We have gone through so much 
already sweetie, we've seen people leave and we've also seen people 
come back in to our lives. You are like an angel that came in to my 
world and headed me in the path I am supposed to take. You made 
me realize that all this hurt is worth it because the only thing I have 
to do to cheer me up is look at you and see your smile and no that 
everything I do is for you and if I am hurting your hurting as well and 
I will do anything for you. I am so happy I was blessed with such 
a beautiful baby and I don’t ever want you to grow up and leave me!