Monday, March 3, 2008

So I've been thinking lately about my ex and how awkward the break up was and how it really didn't make since at all. Been thinking about the times in the past, and I've been realizing I’m actually not over him... I never will be.... I love him and probably always will. He had my heart and kind of still does. Part of me is kind of hoping he will come back to me and we can act like nothings ever happened but at the same time, I believe that this is for the better, and that all he is now is a memory and the one that got away. 

I still have his number in my phone. I still talk to some of his friends and they still seem to care. I still have the photo booth pictures we took in my wallet. I kind of think he lied about throwing out his. I just don’t get it. He treated me so good, and he said he loved me and I know he meant it, he showed he loved me every day.... yeah we fought a little and the day he broke up with me I was nervous and because something didn't feel right... guess I had a reason to be scared. We did break up.

I’m trying to be strong and trying not to think about him or anything to do with him so I can move on. Its just kind of hard, if it made since it would be easier…

The only thing worse then losing him 
is the fact I lost him
its like half of me wants to get over him
and the other half wants to be with him
I guess ill always have that place in my heart for him!